this is a healthier pastime than raising rabbits in the washing machine

stupid girl

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 15:58:11 GMT

sleeping schedule for the past 48 hours:

3am saturday to 3pm sunday
11pm sunday to 2am monday

this is why i'm not allowed days off.

hmph

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 16:14:36 GMT

dear theatre department,

you made me think that a theatre degree was a good idea. then you sent me out into the world with a theatre degree. i think that sending me letters asking for money is just adding insult to injury.

love,
nat

also

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:37:20 GMT

on the flight from minsk to ny, i saw enchanted.
i wanted to like it. i did.
but i thought it was the dumbest, most unnecessary, saccharine-est film i've seen in a long, long time.

although i'm not entirely clear on what it is in my brain that allows me to hate it while simultaneously loving the tenth kingdom with every fibre of my being.

books

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 04:29:56 GMT

It's a bit disconcerting to me that my favorite books can turn out not to be favorites anymore. I never thought about this before, but taste in literature can change just like taste in music. I've recently come across two examples of this: a profile i filled out back when i was 19 - none of my listed favorite books would show up on the list anymore. Ok, that's fine. Maybe I've just read better books since then.

But. While browsing goodreads.com, i came across some quotations from a book i used to love (i read the book at least 5 times between the ages of 16 and 21) - and all the quoted lines seemed cliched and insipid to me! So sad!

So how can i say "i love that author!!" with any conviction?? This may sound like the stupidest rant ever, but this realization is very upsetting for me!

idiot

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 20:31:22 GMT

i'm pretty poor right now (with the not-working-in-order-to-travel-for-a-month thing that's about to commence), so i'm trying not to spend any money, and also not to waste anything that i've already purchased.

which leads to such moments of brilliance as this:

i just drank a huge (HUGE - as in the entire 4-cup capacity of my coffee pot) cup of (strong!) coffee so as not to waste the open can of condensed milk i have in my fridge. this is on top of the two cups of tea i already had with breakfast.

i am so jittery that if you look up "jittery" on wikipedia you'll see my picture. at least if you do it in the next 2 minutes.

ok, i was lying. but i seriously am very jittery. so jittery.

GAAAAAAAH.

idiot.

foreigners need to step off, yo

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 19:33:26 GMT

Now, i'll be first in line when it comes to making fun of our current president.

However.

Mocking his americanization and southernization of foreign names is completely unnecessary.

Do foreign dignitaries assume an american accent when pronouncing american names? No, i don't think so. Basically it comes down to "his accent is less glamorous so let's all make fun."

So step off.

There are SO MANY other things that you could be focusing on, if you happen to want a distraction from all the shit he's gotten us into that makes you cry.

too much

Mon, 04 Feb 2008 22:58:43 GMT

my mother's apocalypse beliefs are getting to be too much.

her response to my question the other night:

me: "is it possible to re-get Belarussian citizenship by giving up your US one?"
her: "belarus won't be there anymore in a few years. europe will be under water after 2012"

children

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 14:35:31 GMT

i just remembered that when i was younger (6th to 8th grade-ish) i considered it HIGHLY embarassing that my mom is a year older than my dad.

no idea why.

thoughts

Fri, 11 Jan 2008 19:47:10 GMT

our second annual "housewarming party" is tomorrow and i'm pretty nervous about a number of things. we won't finish cleaning on time. the food will turn out to be horrible. the L train stops running and i get stuck at my rehearsal in Williamsburg hours before the party (gah!). no one shows up. way too many people show up. way too many people show up and the floor of our apartment collapses into the apartment below and i'm pretty sure that counts as "renter negligence," which is discussed at such length in our lease.

anyway, all pretty unfounded and/or ridiculous fears, but i always, always, get really nervous before hosting anything. last year's housewarming was "officially" scheduled to start at the dumb hour of 7pm, and when no one was there by 8pm i was all ready to freak out and start calling people, hyperventelating, or drinking heavily (or all of the above), because: all the preparations and cleaning and worrying and now no one's even here!! except by 10 pm about 40 people were in our apartment, effectively doubling my estimate of how many people it could hold. also, proving (for the umpteenth time) that i should just chill the fuck out.

so yes. i'm sure i don't need to worry or freak out or have 17 nightmares every night detailing all the possiblities of house party hell, but there's really nothing i can do. except distract myself.

which i've been doing at work by reading pamie.com. i first started reading it to follow the WGA strike, but now i've delved deep into the archives (um..1998, to be exact) and i can't stop reading. which is kind of bad, because i should really be entering the huge piles of data i have on my desk. so i've made a deal with myself. in order to finish in the 3 weeks i have left, I need to do about 8 records per hour. as long as I do those, I can spend the rest of the hour doing anything i want (which used to mean playing 28 simultaneous games of scrabulous, but now is mostly me retroactively stalking someone through their blog archives.)

in four weeks i will be in israel, then germany, then minsk. i think a month away from daily facebook reloads, gchat, and television recaps might help me regrow enough brain cells to someday lead a healthy and productive life. except...do brain cells regenerate? i guess i'll go check wikipedia...

cold

Fri, 04 Jan 2008 17:02:16 GMT

Dear weather,

Please get a little bit warmer real soon so that I can do my laundry and also buy groceries without my face freezing off.

Also, please shut up all the idiots that claim that a cold week proves that global warming isn't real.

Also, please have the courtesy to read the weather report on my computer and act accordingly.

Much love,
Nat

lottery

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 20:57:44 GMT

for the past couple of weeks, i have, against my better judgement, been participating in the office mega millions pool.

today, i forgot to get my $2 in before noon.

i will be really upset if this is the week that they win.

although that would probably mean that a few somewhat interesting job openings would suddenly pop up...

brooklyn

Tue, 21 Aug 2007 15:34:29 GMT

as i emerge from under the rock that is celebrate brooklyn, i realize: "i've been to manhattan all of 5 times this summer!"

and that's kind of really great. i like living AND working AND playing in the same borough. (not that working/playing were too separated this summer...but that's kind of great too.)

but now that it's over, i'm looking forward to getting away. 10 days in costa rica - i'm leaving tomorrow night! whee!

damn rain

Sun, 29 Jul 2007 17:17:31 GMT

dear sun,

i know we've had a shaky relationship at times. and i know you're quite schizophrenic and elusive recently. but. seeing as i only have, like, 7 days off this summer, would it kill you to stick around for at least ONE of them?

oh, it would?

ok, then.

update

Wed, 25 Jul 2007 14:31:31 GMT

the chamomile seems to have survived. as has the friendship.

i think.

slice of life: i'm baking ham in a toaster oven, drinking raspberry tea, and wishing it were already time to go to work. (sad?)

i counted the random bruises on my legs today: 17. I have no idea where they come from, and they never hurt! it's kind of creepy...

actors

Mon, 07 May 2007 16:28:00 GMT

i've done a few shows recently with actors who, for a change, are not fresh out of college, and make a significant portion of their living through acting work (commercials and voiceovers are what pays, apparently.)

they also have a fairly interesting range of day jobs. (it's been a topic i've paid attention to a lot more recently, now that i'm absolutely positive that temping/offices are eating my soul.)

some dayjobs include:

--massage therapist (pretty common, actually)
--catering manager
--real estate agent
--pet shop clerk
--stay at home dad

i'm not including the lawyers, doctors, etc. - those feel a little more substantial than a "day job". also, those people tend to define themselves as having the more professional career first ("i'm a lawyer who also acts" as opposed to "i'm an actor who sells houses to pay the rent")

an overall departure from the land of table waiting/bartending/temping that i'm used to seeing. (of course, there are tons of those as well...)

stupid girls' guide to being stupid

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 14:26:10 GMT

my old emails read like a stupid chick book that makes you cringe on every page and want to slap the protagonist. however, having read a bunch of them, i have noticed a few surprising trends:

1. i've actually managed to grow up quite a bit in the past few years (it doesn't feel like it)
2. hey, i'm ok. things are good.

kind of ridiculous

Mon, 23 Apr 2007 14:56:34 GMT

how is it that, growing up, i could have had ZERO knowledge of this?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soviet_invasion_of_Afghanistan

movies

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 04:34:13 GMT

Go to IMDB.com and look up 10 of your favorite Movies.
Post three official IMDB "Plot Keywords" for these 10 picks.
Have your friends guess the movie name.

1. Teen Angst / Music / Fake Funeral
2. Adultery / Assistant / Gardener
3. Drunk / Countryside / Plotless
4. Trapped / Part Animated / Subconscious
5. Tough Guy / Memory Lapse / Diabetes
6. Alcoholic father / S&M / Self-inflicted Injury
7. Overprotective Brother / Misfit / Mental Illness
8. Erased Memory / Betrayal / Crush
9. Miami Beach / Nightclub / Senator
10. Garden Gnome / Automatic Photo Booth / Hypochondriac

P.s. - yes, i know this is hard! i just looked at the list and realized i couldnt remember a couple of them myself! i'll post answers/unscreen comments in a couple of days. (as soon as i figure out what everything is =)

So here are the answers:

1. Teen Angst / Music / Fake Funeral = Empire Records
2. Adultery / Assistant / Gardener = Door in the Floor
3. Drunk / Countryside / Plotless = Withnail and I
4. Trapped / Part Animated / Subconscious = The Science of Sleep
5. Tough Guy / Memory Lapse / Diabetes = Memento
6. Alcoholic father / S&M / Self-inflicted Injury = Secretary
7. Overprotective Brother / Misfit / Mental Illness = Benny & Joon
8. Erased Memory / Betrayal / Crush = Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
9. Miami Beach / Nightclub / Senator = The Birdcage
10. Garden Gnome / Automatic Photo Booth / Hypochondriac = Amelie

sigh

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 15:54:59 GMT

a year ago we were here:

p.s.

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 22:31:29 GMT

this is a resolution i was going to make for new year's, but then i was too drunk to remember.

this year's resolution: never drink cider AND liquor in one night ever again. ever. ever. even if one or both are free. just say no, kids. just say no.

updates

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 22:26:25 GMT

i used to update so regularly, but now i've got nothing to say. it's this damn internet malarchy. there's so many stupid websites i use for daily procrastination (3 email accounts, facebook, twop, and now myspace), that everything gets spread way too thin. besides, it's much easier to change my music preferences on facebook than it is to write an actual paragraph. about something real. (not that i've ever done that here, but at least there's always the option.)

I'm stuck in a weird place. I've been lazy, unmotivated, and complacent the past couple of months. Which would be ok, except every now and then a day will come along where I have lots of energy and, hey, even "zest for life", and i inevitably wind up seeking out future work on those days. with the end result that i've got about a billion more projects on my hands than i have any desire to handle.

on top of that, i've suddenly realized (yet again) that i have no idea what i want to do with my life. there's all these options, but they all take a commitment. which i'm not very good at. hell, i can't even make a decision on whether or not to use capital letters, much less choose between school, job, or travel (to simplify my 5000 choices).

sometimes i just want to nap. and by sometimes, i mean always.

strange connections

Sun, 01 Apr 2007 04:16:12 GMT

maybe it's because i inadvertently watched his version of hamlet, but i've just realized that i really dont find ethan hawke at all appealing in any way.

(also, he kind of reminds me of a "professor" i particularly disliked in college)

sellout

Tue, 27 Mar 2007 21:14:04 GMT

senior year of college i was so broke that more than a few times i walked from campus to my room (an hour's walk in good weather) in a snow/sleet storm. a car service cost $9, a luxury i resorted to something like twice.

today i spent $8 on lunch because i forgot to pack my own last night.

what will i do once my free 3-month subscription ends???

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 15:02:21 GMT

the theme of this weekend seems to be "bawling your eyes out"

i'm a bit ashamed to say that jessica convinced me to watch "the lake house". and by "conviced me" i mean she said "you should put in on your blockbuster.com list, i liked it." what can i say? i'm easy.

so i watched it. and cried, cried, cried. i thought i would get away with it, too, but jess and pat got home about 10 minutes before the end of the movie, to find me a crying, sobbing mess, practically in the fetal position. i think they enjoyed it. damn sadists.

anyway, after that ordeal was over, we watched crash (yes, i know - about time!) the only reason it didn't make me cry much was because i was already so very dehydrated. but yes - a very good movie.

and tonight is blockbuster time again, so it remains to be seen what ridiculous tear jerker forces itself on me. maybe they'll have the entire 3rd season of arrested development in, and i'll be able to put this entire sorry episode behind me. i can only hope!

nostalgic photo of the day

Mon, 29 Jan 2007 15:34:53 GMT